Getting married is not an achievement – Counselor Adofoli

Intro

There is a widespread village mentality about marriage, as being one of the highest achievements in life especially for ladies when you come to this part of the world; Ghana. People ridicule you because you are not married at a certain age. Families negotiate over you as if you are a product for sale all in the name of marriage. Men approach old ladies in a bid to marry them as if they are useless without marriage and they are doing them favour.

Some ladies assume they are doing the older men a favour by getting married to them. Some unmarried people are so frustrated and have untold pressures on them to get married.

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People go to church to seek for marriage and not to worship God, then once they are married they cut links with the church. Marriage has become a competition amongst peers. Dating left and right, doing all sorts of uncalled for and nasty things in a bid to get married.

Sometimes the way the church loudly applauds marriage announcements and partners planning to get married, alone puts pressure and makes other single members who are advanced in age feel they are either cursed, not blessed or are being punished for a sin, or that some spiritual issue is responsible for their singleness.

Marriage is a Grace and not an achievement. God created us for assignments and not marriage. Everyone needs to discover their assignment. Again, children are gifts from God. Only He determines the gender of a child. Having more eligible women than men does not mean something is wrong with the women.

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Marriage is just one stage of life. And it is not for everyone. It is time we stop pushing people into wrong marriages, destroying their future and happiness. No one should force anyone to marry. No parent, family, pastor or friend should put pressure on you to get married.

It is not a taboo for a woman not to give birth. Every child needs a family and ideally only marriage can provide the child with that support. Stop pushing the woman to sleep with people just to have a child.

There are orphans who are also supposed to be taken care of. Let’s stop this mad race in the name of marriage. Being unmarried is not a taboo but a blessing. No man or woman was born with the name of their spouse written on them.

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