When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to forget that the little things matter. In fact, there are probably things you’re doing right now that absolutely move your love forward. Good job, well done!
However, there are also likely things you’re doing (over and over again), mostly subconsciously, that will ruin your partnership every time. And, most likely, you’re not even aware you’re doing them.
With this relationship advice, you’ll be able to stop the self-sabotage and keep the happiness you deserve.
1. Laying down the law because of a past experience
Sometimes when we get badly hurt or we finally got out of that difficult marriage, we make a deal with ourselves that we will never end up with a guy like that ever again.
For example, you dated a guy who cheated on you. Then you decide “I will never again end up with a guy who cheats.” So you go to the other extreme and date a guy who is really into you. He’s a good person, but too much in your face. Now you find you have no freedom, feel smothered and it is all too much.
Don’t pick a boyfriend in retaliation against a past boyfriend’s mistakes. (Nor hold your current partner responsible for proving he’s not like your ex.) You have to date from a good space, not a motive from the past.
2. Saying you’re too busy when he asks you for a date
I see this happen all the time when women feel confused about how much interest is OK to show a guy they actually like. They’re told not to change their plans for a man (because, hello: “strong, independent woman with a life!”).
But honestly, it depends on who you are and what your patterns are. If you’re someone who always tells friends and men you’re too busy, you need to shift that. Too busy says to the other person, “You’re not important to me.” If you want love, and the relationship is going well, make the guy you like a priority in your life.
3. Acting like “boyfriend and girlfriend” before you are
A big mistake (and massive turn-off) is someone who acts like you’re in a full-blown relationship after just the first few dates.
Have you ever had this happen to you? You meet a guy online. He asks you out for next Friday. And before you even meet him in person, he’s calling, texting and planning your future together. So, catch yourself (and stop yourself) if you’re doing this.
4. Not showing interest
You definitely don’t need to chase him, but men do need to know their efforts are acknowledged and that you’re interested in them. Playing “hard to get” can cost you the relationship.
A quality man will treat you the same way he would treat anyone else close to him — as important, valued and appreciated. So, if you like him and he is a good person, let him know it. The right guy will love this.